-Timelines- PG story

[defacto]

I will attemt to make a story here... i'm not a good writer, so please give me tips on how to improve it.
OOOGH Story error: the GC-1 was created after the mantis arrival! ahhh nevermind...

My names i Henry Avon. I am a pilot. A good one too. I usually work for different goverments, testing things... sometimes i just deliver things in my GC-1, the wasp. Neat litle ride, and good in battle too.

The wasp hovered slowly in the outskirts of the Mizar system. Ob could be seen as a brighter star, and the Mizar star gave everything a shadowy feeling in the cockpit of the little Fusion Storm. Henry ate lunch. Some strange Galatine meal that probably would make him vomit. It tasted strange. Meat that tastes like chocolate...

Then the space over the cockpit started shimmering. Henry didn't see anything until a large shadow covered the sun. A few seconds later, a ship of model AnIn-TK-10 materialized out of nowhere.

The com system squeaked into life.
- Captain Avon. we got a job for you.

To be continued...

 

[Delloda]

nice start!

 

[defacto]

really? then i just need to figure out whats gonna happen next...

 

[Aidan]

Idea for the next bit...
The TK-10's Fusion Blaze blaster lit up the airspace, rays of energy plastering Henry's ship. Henry attempted to charge up his Fusion Aim Computer, but failed due to a system malfunction. 1 option left - to get the hell out of there...
___________________________________________________________________________________________

I think that's quite good for a 9:30am paragraph

 

[psycho1982]

dont keep us watin come on complet next part want to no what happens to the pilot henry avon cant wait

 

[Dark_Lord]

Yeah what are u waiting for?
Or to lazy to write the other part

Regards
DarkLordADP

 

[defacto]

I will come up with something

 

[ZeribreX]

Think think think, I think we are dying to here the next part. I feel like sitting in orbit waiting for next system as ive done everything, Its making me feel like that :O

 

[defacto]

Ah well i'll write some tomorrow

 

[ZeribreX]

Hehe, dont rush it, or... err... Just dont lol. Idk why not to, but. meh

 

[defacto]

- Helloes, Mr avon, the man said.
- Hi, there, Avon said. You could have appeared in a more normal way...
- Space have eyes, the Man said. I got a job for you. The imp...
Avon walked to the door. He didn't want anything to do with the Imperials. Nothing. It would just end with a big flaming cloud and a fried pilot. Avon didn't like getting fried.
- ... the man said. Are you still angry after the little incident?
- Your government wanted me to test a new type of plant seed, Avon said. You gave me the astrogation chip for travel to the Centauri system, but oh, surprise! Suddenly i flew out of the Sol gate, the package opened and revealed a weapon! A large one too. Then the cloaking device you hid in my ship failed to work and i just got away before they targeted me...
- Ah, atleast you can stay for a drink!
- A drink? Avon asked.
- Yes, the man said. Wine from Prosperous, year 2567. One of the best, with a hint of Pineapple and citrus...
- I don't know...

1 Hour later

- I... i... i don't waunt to d... drink up your wine.. thingy... but... the third bottle is empty n... now...
- Maybe you should get back to your ship, The man said.
- M... Maybe, Avon said.

The wasp slidded over the sky, breaking 12 traffic rules at teh same time. He didn't notice the change.
Dum dum dum...

 

[ZeribreX]

More more more. Lol

 

[Zeck]

This is the best thing to read in a hang over "He didn't notice the change" really made me laugh out loud.

 

[ZeribreX]

Yea haha

 

[godman]

More pls

 

[defacto]

Henry woke up with a bad headache.
He inspected his cargo hold. Damn, were these Goyanims destined for Goya or Prosperous?
Goya is a good place for Goyanims, he thought. Wait, maybe it was Draco? Or Vega 2?

Hmm, he thought... maybe i should consult the autopilot...
The autopilot, however wasn't in a good mood. It didn't start. This was a bad day. And he haven't even got breakfast... then, a bleeping alarm sounded trough the ship.
´´What is it now?´´ he wondered.
Then, the distinct flash of a ship going down under the speed of light appeared. And another one. And another one. And another one.
´´Ecuse me, he said over the com. If you are here to get my Goyanims...´´
One AnIn 1250, followed by two AnIn Raider class ships, coloured in black, with white skulls.
´´We are the Gangers. Surrender now and hand over your cargo, or we will blast you to bits.´´
´´ You know, Henry said. Those skulls are so normal... like every pirate has one... and what are you going to do with my Goyanims? They're worth like 1 Unit of cryonite for every kilo... ´´
´´Hmm, the Pirate Commander said. Maybe we'll get something from the fried wreckage of your ship´´
´´Hey! Henry said. Don't be so mean! Oh, look! Nice fireworks! Are we friends now? hehe...´´
´´It's no Fireworks, the Pirate said. It's a fusion warhead...´´
´´Oh...´´

 

[godman]

Firework are we friends now...no its fusion war heads...

loolz good thinking!!!!^^

 

[lance]

lol this is gold keep it up

 

[godman]

make end or make next part plllllsssss

 

[defacto]

Well then i will continue, byut i have been thinking of a much better story inside my awesome and purple-dotted brain.